The bike...

I have a bicycle.  I know that is not exactly big news in blog land.  However, I have had this bicycle for a year now and have yet to ride it.  It is on my “fear to get over” list.  I know it sounds silly to some.  It is just a bicycle, and riding a bike is easy once you have done it before.  I used to ride a bike as a child all summer long.  I would ride to the pool, lock the bike up, ride home from the pool, ride to the park etc.  I even pretended one time to be a hobo.  I found a big stick in the yard and I tied a red bandana on the end of it, and I had filled the bandana with sandwiches and some fruit.  I rode to the city park, sat under a tree, and had my very own picnic. 

So now, some 38 years later, I have a mountain bike.  I bought it used from someone that listed it online.  The bike is in great shape, but I am not.  I keep imagining myself riding the bike a short distance and having to walk the darn thing back home.  On the other hand, my other “what if” is what if I fall, in traffic, and am hit by a car?  What if, I cannot remember the hand signals properly and confuse some driver, and am hit by a car?  Do you see where this is going?  This is what I meant in the earlier blog, about what ifs killing you.  You can what if yourself so much, that you never enjoy the here and now because you are so busy living in what if land.  The land of what ifs is a scary place to dwell, I must admit.  However, usually those major what if things never happen. 

I also put obstacles in my way so I cannot possibly do whatever it is that is making me anxious.  Concerning the bike, it is about shorts.  I MUST have shorts to wear when I ride the bike.  I know I do not have to, but I feel I would be more comfortable.  A few more of these obstacles and it will be next summer again. 

So I guess, in order to help myself, I will just have to do my best and get on that bike and ride it.  I figure a baby step can be riding it on the sidewalks for now.  In our town, it is illegal to ride a bike on the sidewalk, but no one is ever ticketed for that offense. 

I know I sound less than thrilled about the bike experience, but I also know that when I do ride that bike I will feel great.  It will be a while before it becomes habit, but I think it is time to make a start.

So what have all of you been putting off?  Write to me and tell me.  I would love to hear how anxiety, agoraphobia, etc, affect the rest of you.

Ta :)